Where to begin... I have no idea. Want to start with the good? Sure. Why not?
Work:
(Yes, work is on the good list this time) I got promoted!!! I'm now a store manager. I found out I had the job during the last couple weeks of August. My official start date was September 1. I'm SO much happier at my new store!
As an assistant manager, I was required to work 44 hours a week. It was somewhat salaried. I was paid hourly and my 'salary' was based on 40 hours and 4 hours of overtime. So, I made the same amount each week. If I went over my 44 hours, I would get overtime. It was rare, but it was nice when it happened!
As a store manager, I am required to work 48 hours a week. Salary. No overtime. I know for a fact that I have not worked less than 51 hours a week for the 4 weeks I've been at MY new store. Okay, I knew that was going to happen, and I'm okay with that. But I didn't factor in the drive. I'm driving about 50 minutes to work each way. So, let's just call that an hour. Hey, there could be traffic. So add at least 2 hours a day to each day, and no less than 5 days a week (although I've been working 7-12 days in a row instead). So that adds no less than 10 hours a week. Working that much, and adding the drive time is really working on me. I'm exhausted!
I can't be doing that bad of a job though! My store hit budget the first month I have been there! And October is starting out great too! I'm really excited about that! I have a new assistant manager (of course he's new to me... but I mean he's new to the company), and two part-timers. They all are good workers and I think we're going to have a great team there. :)
Social Life:
I have none. Next.
TV:
My TV went out! The picture went out anyway. I could still hear it, but that was no fun. So I cancelled my cable. Why not? Can't look at it anyway, so why pay for it? I now watch TV shows on the Internet or just do without. I've done this before - by choice - and after a month or so, I didn't miss it. So I know I'll be just fine for now too. :)
One year ago:
I was reminded just a little while ago that one year ago today I was in NYC. First time going by myself. Maybe only the second time ever. The first was when I was younger and I don't remember much about it. The guy that reminded me is someone I met one year ago today in NYC. He is from Italy. There is a lot of depressing things in my life right now, and THAT brought a good smile to my face. We spent the whole day together that day. It was one of the best trips I've ever been on, especially alone!
My Babies:
All three are still doing great. Penny is her usual self. Hates Blaze. :) Mini is so much more lovable, but I still can't really 'hold' her. Blaze, well, he's my little puppy dog. Ha! Love those kitties!
Family:
I have a new niece! She was born just 10 days ago! I got to meet her at 4 days old! Allison Cate. She's a little thing. So cute! Emma is a jealous big sister. Joshua is a great big brother!
Okay, now time for the bad stuff. Now where do I begin?
Brandon:
I guess I'll start from the beginning. A brief history anyway. A year and a half ago (March 2011), my step-brother Brandon, found out that he had caught a virus and that virus had attacked his heart.
Jump forward to October of last year. Brandon received a full organ heart transplant. He woke up 3 days after and was out of the hospital within 10 days.
From October of last year and on through the Spring of this year, he was in and out of the hospital some because of his rejection levels. But for the most part, he was doing great. He even took a trip to NYC during the same time I was there in April! We almost met up, but were at opposite ends of the city at the time we could have met up...
This June, Brandon went back into the hospital. The first few weeks were critical. Then he was doing better. (yes, this is the short, simple version) I saw him around the middle of June. Then I know I saw him again on July 27. I had an interview in Durham. I was advised to go see Brandon before my interview because the treatments he was receiving would make him sleep a lot. If I wanted to see him awake, I needed to go before my interview. So I did. I saw Brandon and his girlfriend, Liz, for about 30 minutes before I had to leave. When I got out of my interview, I called my dad. He said that Brandon had coded and that he was on his way to the hospital. I was just a 1.2 miles away so I raced back over to the hospital. I ran all the way up to the 3rd floor. My step-mom, Alicia, and Liz were out in the hall. Just a couple minutes later, we were taken to a room for the doctors to talk to us. (I'm being very real here and personal - so please, be respectful when reading this). Liz just straight up asked the doctor, 'is he dead'. The doctor paused for a quick second, looked down, nodded and said 'yes'.
It's so hard to explain that moment. I guess I was in total shock, because I couldn't show emotion. I just tried to hold Alicia or Liz and let them cry. I didn't understand. I mean, I JUST saw him 2 hours prior. He talked to me. We talked about some of his future plans. I told him I'd see him again either Saturday or definitely on Sunday. How could this be? He was so bad in June, and he pulled through. Things started functioning on their own again. He was doing better. If he could make it through a virus attacking his heart, a heart transplant, kidneys failing, and so on and so on... why? What the heck happened?!
I spend the next couple hours making phone calls, answering phone calls, hugging people, shaking, crying, and most of all wondering if I was in a bad dream. One of the worst things a person could ever have to do is tell another person that their son has passed away, or their nephew, or their grandson. I hope you never have to do that.
Tomorrow is Brandon's birthday. I'm having a difficult time right now. He should be here. Celebrating his 20th birthday. You hear all growing up that life isn't fair. Well, it isn't. It just isn't fair. Bad things happen to good people. It is just so unfair.
Grandma:
My dad's mom is sick. She has lymphoma. Chemotherapy is not working. Her cancer has spread. She is now stage 4. She doesn't know that now, but she does know it's bad. In this situation, I'm mostly sad. But I'm also a little angry. Why do we, as humans, get so angry at people we love? My grandma knew she had lumps in her neck. She knew before anyone else. It's her neck. Of course she knew. It wasn't until they were noticeable to others that she went to have them checked out. So may anger is in this: if she had said something sooner, would the outcome be different? If she hadn't waited, or been scared to go to a doctor, would we be celebrating a survivor instead of being scared of a loss? WHY did she wait so long? WHY?
But more than anything, I'm scared. I'm scared of losing 2 people in one year. Heck, in 6 months. Do not take that to mean that doctors have given her a timetable. There is not a timetable. My aunt is still fighting for treatments and cures. Anything to help my grandma. But is it a possibility to lose 2 people in 6 months time? Yes. Am I angry just at that fact? Yes. Am I scared senseless? Yes. Do I hurt? Yes.
I have decided to go to Florida, where my grandparents are right now. I'm leaving next week and will be down there for 4 nights. I'll be staying with my aunt. It will be great seeing them, but still difficult. Is it horrible of me to think about the fact that this may be the last time I see my grandma? Is that a horrific thought? I can't help it though. I mean, if the cancer is still spreading and the chemo isn't working, that's a legitimate thought, right? I will do everything in my power to be strong while I'm down there. I have to be supportive. And crying about the situation is not supportive. I think I'll be okay when I'm there. But here, now, I'm a mess. I don't want her to go anywhere.
Okay... I can't write anymore. Needless to say, this has been a difficult year. I struggle not being close to my family sometimes. I love being on my own, but during the hard times, it's so hard. And I don't have a lot of people here in this area that I can just call up any time. Some days you just want a hug. A shoulder to cry on (like now). I can call my family and talk, but that's not the same as having someone here. Instead, I have the cats to keep me company and comfort me. They make me smile each day. I'm very thankful for that. Extremely thankful.
Goodnight! Thanks for reading.
Wednesday, October 3, 2012
Friday, May 4, 2012
Catch up
So it's been a while since I have written. I knew I wouldn't write daily; I just didn't think it would be months in between my posts. Better late than never.
A few things have happened in the last couple months. Let's see...
Family: All is well. I live 3 hours away from my family. We are close, and I don't see them as often as I'd like. I have a very handsome 5 year old nephew and a beautiful 6.5 month old niece. There is also another niece/nephew on the way! I say it like that because we don't know what the sex is yet. We will find out next week though!
Work: Oh work. What to say about it? Some days are great, some are just horrible. Maybe a month ago, I had one of those horrible days. All in all, long story short, my character was questioned. I was quite angry initially, but then I was hurt. More hurt than anything. Even now, I feel hurt by the situation. But what can you do? I still have bills to pay. I still have animals to feed. I still have to go to work. I have put it behind me, but I have not forgotten. If you know me, you know I don't forget things like this.
Fun: Mom & I went to NYC in April! We left on Thursday April 12 and returned on Monday April 16. We had a blast! I think I will do more posts about that trip so this one isn't so long. Maybe a post for each day. Mom had never been to NY and I'm glad that I planned it well enough that she wants to go back! I won't spoil it all here.
Personal: "I am at a point where I'm ready to settle down, just not ready to settle." I saw this recently and it is so true. I've been struggling with this for a while now. I am honestly tired of being alone. No, I do not need a guy to be happy. No, I do not need a guy to support me. I am just lonely. Plain and simple.
People all around me are in relationships, getting married, having children. I'm not saying I want all of that, well, not all of it right now, but eventually. You will tell me, 'I didn't meet [enter significant other here] until I was [enter age older than mine]. It will happen when you least expect it'. Yada yada yada. Is it so wrong that I would rather meet someone sooner than later? I don't think so. I can't force it. I know that. I won't. And I refuse to settle so I'm not going to jump into a relationship with the first guy that comes along. I just get a little disappointed sometimes that things have not worked out for me, yet.
I want someone to share my day with. I want someone to share their day with me. Well, there's a lot I want and I don't feel I need to share it here. Don't get me wrong, I'm not itching to get married tomorrow, but a date now and then would be nice. Someone to talk to, hang out with. :) I will quit now, because I know I'm starting to sound pathetic and desperate. I am neither. I would just like to have a special someone in my life. I think everyone would like that.
Animals: My three kiddos are doing great. Penny took a little vacation of her own when mom & I went to NYC. She rode to Raleigh with me and stayed with her great-grandparents! :) Granny & Granddad love that cat so much! And she loves being at their house just as much. She has special food and I separate her from Blaze & Mini to eat, so it was very helpful to have her at their house by herself. Also, Blaze couldn't chase her there. She loved it. The minute I walked into their house to get her to bring her home she started crying and ran from me. She knew she had to leave and didn't want to go at all! I offered Penny to my grandparents. It would be entertaining for them and she would be so much happier. But they won't do it. They are good with short visits for now.
Blaze & Mini are good. Mini is warming up to me more and more. She is now starting to get jealous of the attention Blaze demands. She will jump on me more and want to be rubbed. Blaze has his routines down that we do daily. When I open my bedroom door in the morning to let Penny out of there, Blaze comes in and jumps on the bed. I get back in bed and we cuddle for a few minutes. When I get in the shower, he gets between the curtain and curtain liner and cries until I get out. Sometimes he'll try to bite my leg through the liner. Then when I'm done he has to raise up on me and rub on me to make sure I'm still there. I guess he thinks the water is going to get me. When I get home (from anywhere) he cries until I sit on the couch. He'll then jump on my lap and sit there for a good 5 minutes. It's routine, but I wouldn't have it any other way.
A few things have happened in the last couple months. Let's see...
Family: All is well. I live 3 hours away from my family. We are close, and I don't see them as often as I'd like. I have a very handsome 5 year old nephew and a beautiful 6.5 month old niece. There is also another niece/nephew on the way! I say it like that because we don't know what the sex is yet. We will find out next week though!
Work: Oh work. What to say about it? Some days are great, some are just horrible. Maybe a month ago, I had one of those horrible days. All in all, long story short, my character was questioned. I was quite angry initially, but then I was hurt. More hurt than anything. Even now, I feel hurt by the situation. But what can you do? I still have bills to pay. I still have animals to feed. I still have to go to work. I have put it behind me, but I have not forgotten. If you know me, you know I don't forget things like this.
Fun: Mom & I went to NYC in April! We left on Thursday April 12 and returned on Monday April 16. We had a blast! I think I will do more posts about that trip so this one isn't so long. Maybe a post for each day. Mom had never been to NY and I'm glad that I planned it well enough that she wants to go back! I won't spoil it all here.
Personal: "I am at a point where I'm ready to settle down, just not ready to settle." I saw this recently and it is so true. I've been struggling with this for a while now. I am honestly tired of being alone. No, I do not need a guy to be happy. No, I do not need a guy to support me. I am just lonely. Plain and simple.
People all around me are in relationships, getting married, having children. I'm not saying I want all of that, well, not all of it right now, but eventually. You will tell me, 'I didn't meet [enter significant other here] until I was [enter age older than mine]. It will happen when you least expect it'. Yada yada yada. Is it so wrong that I would rather meet someone sooner than later? I don't think so. I can't force it. I know that. I won't. And I refuse to settle so I'm not going to jump into a relationship with the first guy that comes along. I just get a little disappointed sometimes that things have not worked out for me, yet.
I want someone to share my day with. I want someone to share their day with me. Well, there's a lot I want and I don't feel I need to share it here. Don't get me wrong, I'm not itching to get married tomorrow, but a date now and then would be nice. Someone to talk to, hang out with. :) I will quit now, because I know I'm starting to sound pathetic and desperate. I am neither. I would just like to have a special someone in my life. I think everyone would like that.
Animals: My three kiddos are doing great. Penny took a little vacation of her own when mom & I went to NYC. She rode to Raleigh with me and stayed with her great-grandparents! :) Granny & Granddad love that cat so much! And she loves being at their house just as much. She has special food and I separate her from Blaze & Mini to eat, so it was very helpful to have her at their house by herself. Also, Blaze couldn't chase her there. She loved it. The minute I walked into their house to get her to bring her home she started crying and ran from me. She knew she had to leave and didn't want to go at all! I offered Penny to my grandparents. It would be entertaining for them and she would be so much happier. But they won't do it. They are good with short visits for now.
Blaze & Mini are good. Mini is warming up to me more and more. She is now starting to get jealous of the attention Blaze demands. She will jump on me more and want to be rubbed. Blaze has his routines down that we do daily. When I open my bedroom door in the morning to let Penny out of there, Blaze comes in and jumps on the bed. I get back in bed and we cuddle for a few minutes. When I get in the shower, he gets between the curtain and curtain liner and cries until I get out. Sometimes he'll try to bite my leg through the liner. Then when I'm done he has to raise up on me and rub on me to make sure I'm still there. I guess he thinks the water is going to get me. When I get home (from anywhere) he cries until I sit on the couch. He'll then jump on my lap and sit there for a good 5 minutes. It's routine, but I wouldn't have it any other way.
Friday, February 17, 2012
~Memory Lane~
Memory Lane. It can be a dangerous place sometimes. It's bitter sweet. Sometimes it's horrible. Sometimes it puts a smile on your face. It can make you laugh, cry, get angry.
I was chatting with an old friend on an instant message today. We met in 2001. Labor Day weekend, on a plane. Jerry, mom & I were headed back from celebrating my 21st birthday in Vegas. We had a layover in Dallas, which is where my friend boarded the plane and was seated next to me. I remember exactly what I was wearing. I was wearing stop sign red sweat pants and a tee I had gotten in Vegas. It is black has a pair of dice on it and it reads, 'Nice Pair'. Yep, super attractive.
The seat next to me was a guy heading back to NC to FT Bragg. I remember looking at mom and just smiling so big. He was attractive and of course we started talking. Many great conversations happen between strangers on airplanes. It was the very end of the flight - we may have even landed - before he asked for my number. We hung out quite a bit after we returned to NC. We've been friends since.
Time and life get in the way of friends sometimes. That can make the memories that much better, in my opinion. Since then, we have drifted and randomly check in on each other. I'm doing my thing here and if you're reading this you probably know me so you know what's been going on with me over the last 7.5 years. My friend - he's married, in the reserves, has a beautiful daughter.
Thinking about some memories with my friend has made me think of other memories. Past friends, where I've lived, what I've done, who I've dated, etc. Memories make me proud of some decisions I've made, question others, and sometimes just wonder what the heck even happened. I do have a few memories that make me sad and wonder what I could have done differently. Some that make me wonder why I didn't do anything sooner. Some that just make me thrilled it's only a memory. Others make me wish I were still there. Memories make me look forward to new ones I'll make - better ones.
It really is funny what memory lane does to you. Just don't let it fill you with regret. Learn from it and move on. Make better memories. Don't make the same mistakes.
How do your memories make you feel?
I was chatting with an old friend on an instant message today. We met in 2001. Labor Day weekend, on a plane. Jerry, mom & I were headed back from celebrating my 21st birthday in Vegas. We had a layover in Dallas, which is where my friend boarded the plane and was seated next to me. I remember exactly what I was wearing. I was wearing stop sign red sweat pants and a tee I had gotten in Vegas. It is black has a pair of dice on it and it reads, 'Nice Pair'. Yep, super attractive.
The seat next to me was a guy heading back to NC to FT Bragg. I remember looking at mom and just smiling so big. He was attractive and of course we started talking. Many great conversations happen between strangers on airplanes. It was the very end of the flight - we may have even landed - before he asked for my number. We hung out quite a bit after we returned to NC. We've been friends since.
Time and life get in the way of friends sometimes. That can make the memories that much better, in my opinion. Since then, we have drifted and randomly check in on each other. I'm doing my thing here and if you're reading this you probably know me so you know what's been going on with me over the last 7.5 years. My friend - he's married, in the reserves, has a beautiful daughter.
Thinking about some memories with my friend has made me think of other memories. Past friends, where I've lived, what I've done, who I've dated, etc. Memories make me proud of some decisions I've made, question others, and sometimes just wonder what the heck even happened. I do have a few memories that make me sad and wonder what I could have done differently. Some that make me wonder why I didn't do anything sooner. Some that just make me thrilled it's only a memory. Others make me wish I were still there. Memories make me look forward to new ones I'll make - better ones.
It really is funny what memory lane does to you. Just don't let it fill you with regret. Learn from it and move on. Make better memories. Don't make the same mistakes.
How do your memories make you feel?
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
Books
I've got a few books to read. I'm looking forward to all of them too! Reading is like writing; you have to be in the mood for it. What are some of your favorites? Authors? Titles? Fiction? Non-fiction?
Currently, I'm reading 'Seriously... I'm Kidding' by Ellen Degeneres. It's funny. And mostly makes no sense at all. It's definitely a different kind of read. But I enjoy it. I enjoy her humor. I love watching her talk show because she's consistently making me laugh.
I have also started 'Son of Hamas' by Mosab hassan Yousef. It is written by a man that is (was) the son of a Hamas leader. It's quite interesting to learn about other cultures, especially those that are vastly different from your own. I am not finished with it, but I do encourage you to read it.
Next on my list is 'Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close' by Jonathan Safran Foer. It has been made into a movie and the movie comes out this coming weekend. I want to see the movie, but I want to read the book first. So that will be read as soon as I'm done with Ellen's book, and probably before I finish the Hamas book.
After those, I have a book by Mary Higgins Clark (my favorite author) and the book 'The Help' by Kathryn Stockett. I've already seen the movie, which was amazing. The book has to be even better!
Okay, enough for now. It's time for bed! Early day tomorrow. Goodnight!
Currently, I'm reading 'Seriously... I'm Kidding' by Ellen Degeneres. It's funny. And mostly makes no sense at all. It's definitely a different kind of read. But I enjoy it. I enjoy her humor. I love watching her talk show because she's consistently making me laugh.
I have also started 'Son of Hamas' by Mosab hassan Yousef. It is written by a man that is (was) the son of a Hamas leader. It's quite interesting to learn about other cultures, especially those that are vastly different from your own. I am not finished with it, but I do encourage you to read it.
Next on my list is 'Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close' by Jonathan Safran Foer. It has been made into a movie and the movie comes out this coming weekend. I want to see the movie, but I want to read the book first. So that will be read as soon as I'm done with Ellen's book, and probably before I finish the Hamas book.
After those, I have a book by Mary Higgins Clark (my favorite author) and the book 'The Help' by Kathryn Stockett. I've already seen the movie, which was amazing. The book has to be even better!
Okay, enough for now. It's time for bed! Early day tomorrow. Goodnight!
Sundays, Volunteering & Kitties
So, I typed this at work on Sunday and printed it. I can't get on the (normal) Internet while at work, so I am just now copying this from that. :)
Working on Sundays
Sundays. They are so slow at work! I've seen 3 people in 3.5 hours. And 2 of them were in the first 15 minutes. So, what do you do on slow days? Clean. There's truth in the saying, 'when there's time to lean, there's time to clean'. So, I've put up stock, swept, straightened shelves, front-faced products. In a few minutes I'll get up and clean the bathrooms. Oh the joy. On Sundays, I would much rather sleep in a little, get up, go to church, and go home to relax. At least I'm not open that late. Four is not as bad as it could be I guess.
Volunteering
So, I've been wanting to volunteer and do something that means something. I got a text today from a friend asking me if I would be willing to volunteer at a Cancer Benefit for Relay for Life on May 5. Of course I said yes! Since I'm already at work, I went ahead and put it on the calendar that I would need off that day. I'm looking forward to it!
I've also been thinking of other places I can volunteer some of my free time. I'm thinking of finding a veteran's hospital in the area. Or a children's place. Or something with animals. Or an AIDS foundation place. I just want to help, somewhere. But I want it to be a right fit for me, and for them. I will be doing more research soon.
Kitties & Food
My little boy (cat) has had an allergic reaction to something, possibly food. So I went to a holistic pet store on Friday and bought the cats some holistic, good-for-you, expensive food. So far the 3 are not too fond of it. They aren't really eating it. Looks like I will have to keep searching for something else. But they must eat this. I mean, I paid $16 (including tax) for 5 pounds of food. That's crazy (to me)!! I will NOT let that money go to waste, so they will have to eat it. When they get hungry enough, they will. Is that mean? I hope not!
Working on Sundays
Sundays. They are so slow at work! I've seen 3 people in 3.5 hours. And 2 of them were in the first 15 minutes. So, what do you do on slow days? Clean. There's truth in the saying, 'when there's time to lean, there's time to clean'. So, I've put up stock, swept, straightened shelves, front-faced products. In a few minutes I'll get up and clean the bathrooms. Oh the joy. On Sundays, I would much rather sleep in a little, get up, go to church, and go home to relax. At least I'm not open that late. Four is not as bad as it could be I guess.
Volunteering
So, I've been wanting to volunteer and do something that means something. I got a text today from a friend asking me if I would be willing to volunteer at a Cancer Benefit for Relay for Life on May 5. Of course I said yes! Since I'm already at work, I went ahead and put it on the calendar that I would need off that day. I'm looking forward to it!
I've also been thinking of other places I can volunteer some of my free time. I'm thinking of finding a veteran's hospital in the area. Or a children's place. Or something with animals. Or an AIDS foundation place. I just want to help, somewhere. But I want it to be a right fit for me, and for them. I will be doing more research soon.
Kitties & Food
My little boy (cat) has had an allergic reaction to something, possibly food. So I went to a holistic pet store on Friday and bought the cats some holistic, good-for-you, expensive food. So far the 3 are not too fond of it. They aren't really eating it. Looks like I will have to keep searching for something else. But they must eat this. I mean, I paid $16 (including tax) for 5 pounds of food. That's crazy (to me)!! I will NOT let that money go to waste, so they will have to eat it. When they get hungry enough, they will. Is that mean? I hope not!
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
Blah days...
I know we all have 'blah' days. Today was one for me. What causes them? We all have them, so I know you know what I'm talking about. Do we have blah days because of the lack of enough sleep? The weather? For ladies, that time of the month? Lack of proper nutrition? Too much on our minds?
I know there are plenty of reasons we could think of. I have been extremely tired lately. For instance, yesterday I got home from work and took a nap. I woke up around 5:30 or so and forced myself to go to my Krav Maga class. I could have kept sleeping. This morning I was able to sleep in longer than usual but still didn't want to get up. Then, a blah mood. I hate being so tired all the time.
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On another note. This is a new start for each of our stores at work. A new beginning. A time to beat the sales numbers that we had last year. We're already off to a pretty decent start at my store. We are very hopeful for a great year.
We sure did finish the year out well too. For our 4th quarter we hit budget easily and went above and beyond too. For me, that means I get a base bonus for reaching 100% of budget, plus 1% of everything over budget. This is a great bonus in and of itself. Then there's something called Controllable Contribution. We have a budget (as does any company) for our expenses. There are things we cannot control, like rent. That doesn't change and we can do nothing about it --- non-controllable. Then we have things we can control, like payroll expense, inventory (we pay interest on all inventory we have sitting in our stores each month), etc. If a store hits the budget for this, the bonus could be outstanding. And of course we hit it. The base bonus is more than the quarterly bonuses and as an assistant manager, I get 3.5% of everything over budget. Oh yes, I cannot wait for the 'checks' to drop! Direct deposit is great. :)
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Some days, I feel like writing and can write about anything. Other days, like today, I struggle to find something to write about. I'm grasping at straws here. And I'm in the mood to write too. Bummer.
You know how I said I was going to be honest with myself and others this year? Well, I have been. Or at least I've been trying. I have one friend in particular that I'm having a hard time saying what I want to say, in the right way. But at least I'm trying, right? The right words will come eventually.
But this concept totally goes the other way too. I want others to be honest with me too. And that happened this past weekend. I had hurt some one's feelings, unintentionally and she called me and told me. At first I was taken back because I didn't realize I had done that. But we talked and I saw how she could feel that way and I apologized. It was almost a breakthrough moment for me too. You can ask another friend of mine, I used to get very defensive when someone would confront me about anything. I've come a long way to be able to take it, think about it, talk about it, and fix it. I encourage you all to work on that. I think we all could use perspective on how we handle situations. Is there anything you could change? How do you handle situations? Do you always have to be right? Have the last word? Do you take a moment and see things the way the other person sees them? Can you talk about things, or do you get mad and upset?
Make sure you tell those you care about how much you care and love them. Life is precious and a gift. And it can be taken in a blink of an eye. Love with all your heart. Listen. Talk. Laugh. Understand. Care. Fight for what you want and what you believe in.
I know there are plenty of reasons we could think of. I have been extremely tired lately. For instance, yesterday I got home from work and took a nap. I woke up around 5:30 or so and forced myself to go to my Krav Maga class. I could have kept sleeping. This morning I was able to sleep in longer than usual but still didn't want to get up. Then, a blah mood. I hate being so tired all the time.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
On another note. This is a new start for each of our stores at work. A new beginning. A time to beat the sales numbers that we had last year. We're already off to a pretty decent start at my store. We are very hopeful for a great year.
We sure did finish the year out well too. For our 4th quarter we hit budget easily and went above and beyond too. For me, that means I get a base bonus for reaching 100% of budget, plus 1% of everything over budget. This is a great bonus in and of itself. Then there's something called Controllable Contribution. We have a budget (as does any company) for our expenses. There are things we cannot control, like rent. That doesn't change and we can do nothing about it --- non-controllable. Then we have things we can control, like payroll expense, inventory (we pay interest on all inventory we have sitting in our stores each month), etc. If a store hits the budget for this, the bonus could be outstanding. And of course we hit it. The base bonus is more than the quarterly bonuses and as an assistant manager, I get 3.5% of everything over budget. Oh yes, I cannot wait for the 'checks' to drop! Direct deposit is great. :)
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Some days, I feel like writing and can write about anything. Other days, like today, I struggle to find something to write about. I'm grasping at straws here. And I'm in the mood to write too. Bummer.
You know how I said I was going to be honest with myself and others this year? Well, I have been. Or at least I've been trying. I have one friend in particular that I'm having a hard time saying what I want to say, in the right way. But at least I'm trying, right? The right words will come eventually.
But this concept totally goes the other way too. I want others to be honest with me too. And that happened this past weekend. I had hurt some one's feelings, unintentionally and she called me and told me. At first I was taken back because I didn't realize I had done that. But we talked and I saw how she could feel that way and I apologized. It was almost a breakthrough moment for me too. You can ask another friend of mine, I used to get very defensive when someone would confront me about anything. I've come a long way to be able to take it, think about it, talk about it, and fix it. I encourage you all to work on that. I think we all could use perspective on how we handle situations. Is there anything you could change? How do you handle situations? Do you always have to be right? Have the last word? Do you take a moment and see things the way the other person sees them? Can you talk about things, or do you get mad and upset?
Make sure you tell those you care about how much you care and love them. Life is precious and a gift. And it can be taken in a blink of an eye. Love with all your heart. Listen. Talk. Laugh. Understand. Care. Fight for what you want and what you believe in.
Friday, January 6, 2012
Retail Therapy
Ahhh... Retail therapy. Okay ladies, I know you know what I'm talking about! Some days you just need to get out and go shopping. That's what I did today.
I did not need to go shopping. I definitely didn't need to spend the money. And I didn't even set out this morning with any intent on shopping today. I had a meeting this morning that went until 1:15 and one of my co-workers mentioned that she was going shopping. I kind of invited myself to go too & met her and her sister at the nearby mall. I figured that since I had no plans, why go sit at home?
Ladies, Yankee Candle is having an AMAZING sale! The small votives are only 50 cents! I got 20-21 small votives and 2 small glass jar candles for $21. That included tax! Then I bought 3 more larger jar candles!
That was the second store that drew me in though. The first was New York and Co. I bought a few things on the clearance rack there. Never buy things full price! That's my first rule in shopping.
Then there was Yankee Candle. Next was Bath & Body Works. They are also having a sale. They are getting rid of all of their Christmas scents. By the time I was finished in there, my arms were getting tired from carrying all of those candles around!
My last stop was the Calendar kiosk in the mall. You know they always have calendars on sale right after the new year. Why buy them at full price when you can get them for half off in a week?! I got a desk calendar for work. My calendar of choice this year is called Smart Ass: The Who, What Where Am I? ... Quiz Calendar. It has a lot of questions and clues and you guess the answer. Pretty soon I'll have a lot of random bits of information!
What are some of your favorite things to buy on sale after a holiday?
I did not need to go shopping. I definitely didn't need to spend the money. And I didn't even set out this morning with any intent on shopping today. I had a meeting this morning that went until 1:15 and one of my co-workers mentioned that she was going shopping. I kind of invited myself to go too & met her and her sister at the nearby mall. I figured that since I had no plans, why go sit at home?
Ladies, Yankee Candle is having an AMAZING sale! The small votives are only 50 cents! I got 20-21 small votives and 2 small glass jar candles for $21. That included tax! Then I bought 3 more larger jar candles!
That was the second store that drew me in though. The first was New York and Co. I bought a few things on the clearance rack there. Never buy things full price! That's my first rule in shopping.
Then there was Yankee Candle. Next was Bath & Body Works. They are also having a sale. They are getting rid of all of their Christmas scents. By the time I was finished in there, my arms were getting tired from carrying all of those candles around!
My last stop was the Calendar kiosk in the mall. You know they always have calendars on sale right after the new year. Why buy them at full price when you can get them for half off in a week?! I got a desk calendar for work. My calendar of choice this year is called Smart Ass: The Who, What Where Am I? ... Quiz Calendar. It has a lot of questions and clues and you guess the answer. Pretty soon I'll have a lot of random bits of information!
What are some of your favorite things to buy on sale after a holiday?
Fishing Expo
Yes, the title says 'Fishing Expo'. There is good reason for it!
My stepdad, Jerry, and mom own a tackle shop. The name is Outhouse Tackle Co. I will let you look at their website. http://outhousetackle.com/
They are attending the Fishing Expo in Raleigh this weekend. Today was day one. It runs through Sunday. I encourage you all to go out there this weekend and find their booth! If you know anyone that fishes, it's a great time to buy birthday gifts. Or even a Christmas gift! If you do go by there, let them know I sent you!
My stepdad, Jerry, and mom own a tackle shop. The name is Outhouse Tackle Co. I will let you look at their website. http://outhousetackle.com/
They are attending the Fishing Expo in Raleigh this weekend. Today was day one. It runs through Sunday. I encourage you all to go out there this weekend and find their booth! If you know anyone that fishes, it's a great time to buy birthday gifts. Or even a Christmas gift! If you do go by there, let them know I sent you!
Thanks!
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
Animals
I know most of my friends have animals. I have had the privilege to have pets all throughout my life. There were only a few years within my 28 years that my family did not have a pet of some kind. We had horses, dogs and cats. Then there's the occasional snake, rabbit, frog... But those were not welcome and definitely didn't come in the house.
At the end of my 8th grade year a family brought a box of kittens to my school. I wanted one and somehow convinced my parents to let me have one. We were living in Kentucky at the time. She was the cutest little thing, black and white and tiny. We named her Pentecostal, and for short we call her Penny. Yes, there is a story behind the name, but I won't get into that.
In 9th grade, I had a boyfriend and his dad was a veterinarian. There was a gray tabby dropped off there one day and it needed a home. So, my boyfriend brought her to me. She had a 'M' on her forehead, so I had to pick a name that started with M. Maggie. Maggie was a very wild kitten, but grew up to be a sweet girl. She only loved me. She was always jealous and had to be near me. I was the only one able to handle her. I lost her to cancer about a year and a half ago. I miss her very much.
Since I lost Maggie, I have adopted 2 more cats. Yes, I may have a problem. :) Two kittens showed up in my neighborhood and myself and all of my neighbors kept feeding them. But last summer, August - September 2010, I sat on my doorstep and worked with them for hours at a time. I tried to get them to trust me and come close to me. Long story short, I gained their trust. Mini, as in MiniPenny, has found that she loves the 'good life' - the life of an inside cat. Once I got her inside and to trust me, she has not had any desire to go back outside! Blaze, on the other hand, loves being outside. For the last 3 months he's had to stay inside though. He has taken Maggie's spot as the jealous cat. He has to be in the same room as me, in my lap, snuggling up with me, or under my feet.
I will have to add a picture of Maggie later. I don't have one on this computer. I've been blessed with great animals. They definitely give me entertainment.
So, I ask you these questions:
1- What are some names of animals you've owned?
2- What are some strange stories of your animals? Like strange habits they have...
I'll tell you one for Blaze, then I'll leave you for tonight. Blaze has gotten to the point where he cannot stand for me to be in the shower. I know a lot of cats will sit between the shower curtain and the liner. He not only does that, but he will meow pretty much the entire time. I believe that he thinks the shower is going to get me. He cries until I shut the water off. Once I shut the water off he cries louder. Then as I dry off he has to stretch up as far as he can on my leg and get as close to me as possible. Maybe he's trying to make sure I'm okay. I have no idea. But it's kind of funny! I wish I could record it and share it, but that would be a tad inappropriate! Maybe one day I'll pretend to get in the shower and try to tape it that way... It's too funny. Like last night, I got into the bathtub to soak (because I'm still very sore from my classes on Monday night) and he couldn't stand that either. He actually got on the side of the tub and kept getting his face so close to the water it would make him huff because it got on or up his nose. Then, he started drinking my hot bath water. What a crazy cat!
I'm looking forward to your stories!
Goodnight~
Monday, January 2, 2012
Pictures of my 'Workout'
Red face after 2 classes & practicing breathing:
The knuckles over my ring & pinky fingers aren't normally that large, or red, or bruised:
Krav Maga
Krav Maga. Holy cow.
Actually, I didn't do Krav Maga. When I got to the place the instructor asked me to go into a bag class. KO Bag. It is a "heavy bag class, focusing on boxing and Thai boxing combinations, with cardio and strength training as a bonus". Okay. The first 3 minutes were tough on me. And that was only jumping jacks! Seriously. I have not exercised in a long, long, long time. Nothing other than a little walk here and there.
I was taught how to stand, hold my arms and hands, and how to throw a punch. I tend to get overheated quickly, especially when I haven't done anything like this before. The people in the class were friendly and supportive. That's a good feeling and makes me more likely to go back. One guy asked me, 'first time'? I responded, 'is it really that noticeable?'. And that was even before the class started. I guess my nervousness was really showing. There were people in the class that have been doing this type of thing for years and one guy had only been three other times before tonight.
It was more than I expected for a first night. About 35-40 minutes through I had to learn how to slow down and only do what my body would allow. But I never completely gave up. That's all I can really hope for. After the bag class we all went to the 'big mat' and did sit-ups/crunches. I was done by then. Others in the class told me 'great job' and 'you did good' and that makes you feel good when you feel so behind!
When that was over I was going to head over and tell the instructor 'thank you'. He was helping with another class by then. He motioned me over and told me that that class was a Krav Maga class. So I watched a little then he asked if I wanted to participate. I didn't want to look like a wuss. I mean, that's what I had gone for anyway. So, I took another class. Yes, I'm a real go-getter. Over-achiever.
Krav Maga is a 'self defense system of the Israeli Defense Forces, with a focus on dealing with threats and getting in great shape'. I'm about worn out. I also have a sore elbow and a bruised hand. Work tomorrow will be quite difficult. But, I am going to stick with it and it will become easier over time.
As for right now, I'm going to go soak in a hot bath for a few minutes, take some Aleve, and head to bed. Let's hope I can walk tomorrow!
Actually, I didn't do Krav Maga. When I got to the place the instructor asked me to go into a bag class. KO Bag. It is a "heavy bag class, focusing on boxing and Thai boxing combinations, with cardio and strength training as a bonus". Okay. The first 3 minutes were tough on me. And that was only jumping jacks! Seriously. I have not exercised in a long, long, long time. Nothing other than a little walk here and there.
I was taught how to stand, hold my arms and hands, and how to throw a punch. I tend to get overheated quickly, especially when I haven't done anything like this before. The people in the class were friendly and supportive. That's a good feeling and makes me more likely to go back. One guy asked me, 'first time'? I responded, 'is it really that noticeable?'. And that was even before the class started. I guess my nervousness was really showing. There were people in the class that have been doing this type of thing for years and one guy had only been three other times before tonight.
It was more than I expected for a first night. About 35-40 minutes through I had to learn how to slow down and only do what my body would allow. But I never completely gave up. That's all I can really hope for. After the bag class we all went to the 'big mat' and did sit-ups/crunches. I was done by then. Others in the class told me 'great job' and 'you did good' and that makes you feel good when you feel so behind!
When that was over I was going to head over and tell the instructor 'thank you'. He was helping with another class by then. He motioned me over and told me that that class was a Krav Maga class. So I watched a little then he asked if I wanted to participate. I didn't want to look like a wuss. I mean, that's what I had gone for anyway. So, I took another class. Yes, I'm a real go-getter. Over-achiever.
Krav Maga is a 'self defense system of the Israeli Defense Forces, with a focus on dealing with threats and getting in great shape'. I'm about worn out. I also have a sore elbow and a bruised hand. Work tomorrow will be quite difficult. But, I am going to stick with it and it will become easier over time.
As for right now, I'm going to go soak in a hot bath for a few minutes, take some Aleve, and head to bed. Let's hope I can walk tomorrow!
Department Store Food
So I walked in to Target today. I only went for one thing and came out with 2. Both things I needed, so I feel that was a very successful trip to Target.
But the instant I walked into Target a question came up. Why does Target popcorn at the snack bar always smell so good? I don't want popcorn. I don't need popcorn. But man does it smell appetizing!
Then my mind wanders on... Is it really that good? Or is this a con to get you to spend one more dollar in this store? Is that a tactic other stores use to bring people in? And why do stores need snack bars? I mean, how long are you really in Target? Are you in there so long that you have to have a break and get a pretzel, hot dog, popcorn or nachos? Is it more for the employees to have something on their breaks?
And from that train of thought, I go on. IKEA has a cafeteria. Have you eaten at it? The Swedish meatballs are absolutely delicious. Trust me, I know. I have even gone to IKEA just to eat. How crazy is that? If you've ever been to an IKEA you know your first visit took you at least 2 hours to WALK through. That does not include truly shopping and looking at everything. There is way too much to look at in that store. But it is all so great! And being in that store for 2 hours will make you hungry. So the next time you go there, make sure you go on an empty stomach. Peruse the top level, then get some lunch at their cafeteria, then go through the bottom floor. IKEA is like Target. But they have a scent that gets you on the way out. Cinnamon Rolls. Big cinnamon rolls. And, they're only $1. Did I mention that I love that store?
Doesn't Whole Foods have a cafeteria of some sort?
So what other store uses food to lure you in? What smells captivate you when you walk in or out of a store? Do you give in to the temptation? Is it always food you smell, or could it be a fragrance of some kind?
Just my musings this afternoon. :)
But the instant I walked into Target a question came up. Why does Target popcorn at the snack bar always smell so good? I don't want popcorn. I don't need popcorn. But man does it smell appetizing!
Then my mind wanders on... Is it really that good? Or is this a con to get you to spend one more dollar in this store? Is that a tactic other stores use to bring people in? And why do stores need snack bars? I mean, how long are you really in Target? Are you in there so long that you have to have a break and get a pretzel, hot dog, popcorn or nachos? Is it more for the employees to have something on their breaks?
And from that train of thought, I go on. IKEA has a cafeteria. Have you eaten at it? The Swedish meatballs are absolutely delicious. Trust me, I know. I have even gone to IKEA just to eat. How crazy is that? If you've ever been to an IKEA you know your first visit took you at least 2 hours to WALK through. That does not include truly shopping and looking at everything. There is way too much to look at in that store. But it is all so great! And being in that store for 2 hours will make you hungry. So the next time you go there, make sure you go on an empty stomach. Peruse the top level, then get some lunch at their cafeteria, then go through the bottom floor. IKEA is like Target. But they have a scent that gets you on the way out. Cinnamon Rolls. Big cinnamon rolls. And, they're only $1. Did I mention that I love that store?
Doesn't Whole Foods have a cafeteria of some sort?
So what other store uses food to lure you in? What smells captivate you when you walk in or out of a store? Do you give in to the temptation? Is it always food you smell, or could it be a fragrance of some kind?
Just my musings this afternoon. :)
Sunday, January 1, 2012
Happy New Year
Happy New Year!! Today marks day one of a new year. New beginnings. What are your resolutions this year? I have unofficially made a few. Here is what I have come up with:
1. Go to church more. I work a lot of weekends so I cannot go to church those days, but on weekends I am off I will try to go.
2. Pay off debt. I know I will not be able to pay it all off (student loans), but I can get other things taken care of.
3. Continue my diet. I have been on a diet a good 50+ days. Visalus, or Body by Vi. I have lost about 10 pounds. Starting this diet around the holidays has not helped in the least.
4. Be honest with myself about things, and with others. Over the years I have learned to start taking up for myself because no one else will. So I've started speaking my mind. Sometimes that is good, sometimes not.
5. Be happy. Simple as that.
Maybe you're wondering why I've 'unofficially' made a few resolutions. Well, I know how I am. If I 'officially' make these resolutions I'll only be disappointed if I don't follow through. So, if they are unofficial, then I won't be as disappointed. Maybe that's cheating. But it works for me.
So what were some of your favorite memories of 2011? I have a few myself. I also have a bad memory, so I may leave something out that involved someone reading this. If I do, I apologize right now. Just remind me and I will come back and include it! :)
1. The end of March I bought a new car. A brand new 2011 Mazda 3 Sport. I put sport in italics because that one word made my insurance sky rocket. With this car I have driven to Myrtle Beach, Raleigh multiple times, NYC and VA. There are many miles on it for only having it 9 months. But, it's saved me a ton of money on gas, even with the car payment.
2. Beginning of April - multiple surprises for my mom's 50th birthday.
3. April - was able to see a dear friend of mine, Karisa, and her family at Myrtle Beach.
4. June - a trip to VA Beach to spend time with my dad & step-mom.
5. August - I turned the big 2-8. :)
6. October - my niece was born. She is absolutely beautiful.
7. October - I drove to NYC to see a show in NJ. Newsies. Based on my favorite movie. During that trip, I met some of the original cast members of the movie! And, I also met a guy. An Italian. He was like my boyfriend for a day. Best trip ever.
8. October - My 19 year old step-brother had a heart transplant. A freak situation like that will make anyone stop and think about what life is really about.
Yes, I make lists. I like them. They make me feel more organized.
How did you ring in the new year?! Me? I fell asleep on the couch around 11:15 or 11:30. I missed the ball drop. I woke around 5:30 and headed upstairs to bed.
How was your January 1, 2012? I got up and went to church. I was feeling great about this start to the new year! Until.... Until I was walking out, behind the man I was sitting beside and I dropped my turvis tumbler and the rest of my shake (OJ & shake mix for my diet) and it went everywhere. Including on the man in front of me. I felt horrible! Otherwise, I've had a decent day. Already started my cleaning out. Doesn't look like it, but trust me a lot has been accomplished. :)
I do hope that you all had a nice and safe and happy new year. I wish you all the best for 2012.
Goodnight~
1. Go to church more. I work a lot of weekends so I cannot go to church those days, but on weekends I am off I will try to go.
2. Pay off debt. I know I will not be able to pay it all off (student loans), but I can get other things taken care of.
3. Continue my diet. I have been on a diet a good 50+ days. Visalus, or Body by Vi. I have lost about 10 pounds. Starting this diet around the holidays has not helped in the least.
4. Be honest with myself about things, and with others. Over the years I have learned to start taking up for myself because no one else will. So I've started speaking my mind. Sometimes that is good, sometimes not.
5. Be happy. Simple as that.
Maybe you're wondering why I've 'unofficially' made a few resolutions. Well, I know how I am. If I 'officially' make these resolutions I'll only be disappointed if I don't follow through. So, if they are unofficial, then I won't be as disappointed. Maybe that's cheating. But it works for me.
So what were some of your favorite memories of 2011? I have a few myself. I also have a bad memory, so I may leave something out that involved someone reading this. If I do, I apologize right now. Just remind me and I will come back and include it! :)
1. The end of March I bought a new car. A brand new 2011 Mazda 3 Sport. I put sport in italics because that one word made my insurance sky rocket. With this car I have driven to Myrtle Beach, Raleigh multiple times, NYC and VA. There are many miles on it for only having it 9 months. But, it's saved me a ton of money on gas, even with the car payment.
2. Beginning of April - multiple surprises for my mom's 50th birthday.
3. April - was able to see a dear friend of mine, Karisa, and her family at Myrtle Beach.
4. June - a trip to VA Beach to spend time with my dad & step-mom.
5. August - I turned the big 2-8. :)
6. October - my niece was born. She is absolutely beautiful.
7. October - I drove to NYC to see a show in NJ. Newsies. Based on my favorite movie. During that trip, I met some of the original cast members of the movie! And, I also met a guy. An Italian. He was like my boyfriend for a day. Best trip ever.
8. October - My 19 year old step-brother had a heart transplant. A freak situation like that will make anyone stop and think about what life is really about.
Yes, I make lists. I like them. They make me feel more organized.
How did you ring in the new year?! Me? I fell asleep on the couch around 11:15 or 11:30. I missed the ball drop. I woke around 5:30 and headed upstairs to bed.
How was your January 1, 2012? I got up and went to church. I was feeling great about this start to the new year! Until.... Until I was walking out, behind the man I was sitting beside and I dropped my turvis tumbler and the rest of my shake (OJ & shake mix for my diet) and it went everywhere. Including on the man in front of me. I felt horrible! Otherwise, I've had a decent day. Already started my cleaning out. Doesn't look like it, but trust me a lot has been accomplished. :)
I do hope that you all had a nice and safe and happy new year. I wish you all the best for 2012.
Goodnight~
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